Huzzah .... A thousand Huzzahs

Do you ever have those moments where you just are not content enough in life as it is and wonder how it could if you took a different path tomorrow?  As with other times in my life, I am getting up the courage to do something haphazard.   How it will end, who knows... the last few times I have done it I crashed and burned and had to run home to Utah to rebuild my life (and my bank account) but I think the wheel of fate are going to start turning again.

Just as a highlight reel at past adventures and my lack of completion

- Attempt 1: LDS Mission: Decided to try the Church in the Eleventh hour and went and served and honorable 2 years mission
 Fail 1:  Have completely giving up on the church and have securely become an Agnostic.  (oops)

- Attempt 2: NYC:  Got a job at Nickelodeon right out of college and moved to Manhattan!  LOVED IT!
  Fail 2: Was overworked and under appreciated and thought I could find another job after a year before my money ran out.  In this moment, I was wrong!

So what will attempt 3 be?  DC?  LA?  Out of country??  I have several friends who have taken a "wherever the wind will take me" type approach to life and I am really feeling the need to do it.   Peace Corp?  Americorp?  I am not taking anything off the options list.

28 and a half isn't too late to restart your life.... right?

Ok, Therapeutic Blogging... work your magic!!!

When you hear of those classic lackluster days, Today is pretty high up on the list.   At the beginning of the day, I was optimistic... you could almost call me Jovial.  Now, I feel a mere shadow of my earlier self.   I have been trudging along all day.. barely keeping up with my work.  Now why am I have such a lull?!?

Possible problems that could be spurring my slow drift into depression.  Family issues coming from my sister's stress with having a  13 week premature child and her husband job possibly shifting across the country.  To parent issues, coming from the lack of actually having living parents to come to with my problems and my inability to actually work through my issues I have with them and their deaths.  Possibly friend problems: where I am distancing myself from a certain group because of my lack of energy to deal with issues that I am at part for creating but am choosing to run from because it seems in my mind this is easiest and healthiest path to chose.  And finally personal problems, like my wants to move around the country because I don't like being in Salt Lake.  Or how I am unable to have healthy relationships here.... not thinking I am employed at the level I should be and so on.

Though I also don't believe just bitchin about it with trying to solve your own problems, so that is my plan.  Though I am not sure how I can solve a great deal of those problems.  So help me Gods of the Internet... Help me divine out how to resolve said problems and move forward a better person because of these trials.

May I work through my problems through the written word...

So we have all seen the movies when the protagonist works through whatever issue they are having by using a journal or writing a story that will later show up in the "New Yorker"  Well, neither of those things are really going to happen with this blog but maybe this writing will be cathartic and help me be a little less bat shit crazy when life throws me a curve ball or two.

So here is a little bit about me (or how I see myself anyway)  I am a late twenty something who really is trying to discover himself.  I am undecided where I stand in terms of religion and what I really see himself doing with my life.  I am a hopeless romantic but have really never had success in any relationship.  Now, that is a contradiction if I have ever heard one.  Does this mean that I am not really a romantic at all, because I don't think I really have felt what I think love is.  Now that would be something for me to work through with a therapist :) but sadly, I am too poor for an actual person's help so I am turning to the unlimited power of the internet and social media to help me cope.

Well, now it is official, I have set this blog in motion and will see where this leads me.  Hopefully this does more than just fill my narcissistic need for attention and actually brings forth insight and contemplation (fingers crossed).