Holy Shit... That's my Building

So since my last post, my life has changed completely.  I have moved 2,000 miles, got a job in an international business and had the oddest one night stand ever.   After getting laid off in January,  I was done with Utah for a while.  I figured Salt Lake and I were in an unhealthy relationship... we needed to take a little break from each other.. a trial separation of sorts.
Once this liberating news hit the book of faces, I was invited to move out by two dear friends and that was it.  I made a flash decision to risk it all for a new adventure.  And that was when fate and most the people I know and love turned on me.   Friends and Family thought that it would end poorly and wanted me to me to fail so that I would return.  Even my car decided it was against this idea.. two days before the grand adventure, I found out that my suspension was fucked and there was a chance that somewhere along the journey, I may lose steering in my left front tire.   Well, this may of stopped a normal traveler but not this guy... I went on a wing and a prayer.
For two months,  I was unemployed minus a little hiccup, where I tried working for Greenpeace... thus comes the singular night friend story but I will come back to that.   Right at the end of my unemployment... oh by the way, Fuck You Utah...  and after a 5 hour interview and presentation... I got a sweet job in that building up in the picture.  Now, I can stop the worrying about money issues that has been the last two years of my life.  About time.....
Now, to the little hookup story.  One of the four days that I worked for the environment superheros, I was doing my usual conversation starter with random people.  I started talking to a girl who has having a hard day with a pissed off boss.  I tried to get her to join Greenpeace.... that failed, she was barely making ends meet... but she was happy having someone to talk to.  Work called on her and thus I thought would be the end of this story.   About two hours later, said girl returned and asked me out for drinks.   Thinking this would start be a deal-ender, I told her that I was broke and so it probably won't work.  It may be my charm, looks or some father issue she hadn't dealt with but she said she would cover us.   And so on... yada yada yada, I woke up the next morning ...happy that I still had my kidneys and with a smile on my face and no STIs.   I haven't had a frivolous sexual encounter for a long time ( kinda feel like I have grown out actions like that)  but it was nice to have the ego boost that comes from someone going all out to get close to you. 
Things are finally turning up... within a month, I am hoping to have my own place and starting building my life for the next few years.  Booyah... I took the bull by the horns and won!!

Huzzah .... A thousand Huzzahs

Do you ever have those moments where you just are not content enough in life as it is and wonder how it could if you took a different path tomorrow?  As with other times in my life, I am getting up the courage to do something haphazard.   How it will end, who knows... the last few times I have done it I crashed and burned and had to run home to Utah to rebuild my life (and my bank account) but I think the wheel of fate are going to start turning again.

Just as a highlight reel at past adventures and my lack of completion

- Attempt 1: LDS Mission: Decided to try the Church in the Eleventh hour and went and served and honorable 2 years mission
 Fail 1:  Have completely giving up on the church and have securely become an Agnostic.  (oops)

- Attempt 2: NYC:  Got a job at Nickelodeon right out of college and moved to Manhattan!  LOVED IT!
  Fail 2: Was overworked and under appreciated and thought I could find another job after a year before my money ran out.  In this moment, I was wrong!

So what will attempt 3 be?  DC?  LA?  Out of country??  I have several friends who have taken a "wherever the wind will take me" type approach to life and I am really feeling the need to do it.   Peace Corp?  Americorp?  I am not taking anything off the options list.

28 and a half isn't too late to restart your life.... right?

It feels good on the other side!

So the shit storm that I was going through has finally seem to have broken and boy am I happy about it.   I have just moved onto "I don't care" phase and God, it is good!   I realized it fully last night when I was at my Wednesday night trivia game at our local pub and none of that past shit even seemed to phase me!  When this started, I hoped that my "old" friends would just allow me to have my trivia and that they would stay away so that I could still have a good time at my "walking" bar.  Well, they, I guess, didn't get that memo and so I was worried that they would get that activity in the "breakup" as well!

Well, Fuck them!!  I am not letting it go!   I went last night and had a blast!!  I was talking to 3 or 4 different tables and having a great time and them being there didn't bug me in the least!  And to make the pot even better, I got a barrage of text messages from one of them saying that last night was tough on them.  So I have moved on from the situation and they are still in the quagmire of it.  I know that is petty but it is nice not having to worry about the drama and the jealousy anymore.  

I think it is good to mix up your friends after a while, especially ones that you have had some bad times with.  It allows for fresh starts and new times... instead of living in the past!   

Reinventing your self really isn't that hard!

I haven't quite figured out why I have posted a HIMYM picture as the opening to this post but I am going to give it a shot!  I have been watching it a lot recently and it makes me happy/is helping me get into another group of friends/it is a perfect example of random people becoming friends and having a good time.   Any of those options are suitable for my needs.

So I have been doing a good job of making the change from my former group of friends into a few different  new ones.  I have been lucky to find a few groups of people who are more than happy to invite me into their worlds and maybe a girl or two who seems to have a little interest in yours truly.  This is really helping my ego and self esteem that would have usually been near the bottom since I seek the validation of others to confirm my self esteem usually.

I do you have one current wrench in my "fuck it" tour.   I have been using running to both get me into shape and also, as time to think and work through my problems.   Well, about a week ago, I tweaked my Achilles tendon and so I had to not run all last week.  Now, I went running on Sunday and it continued to hurt.  Grr, finally I am doing something good for my body and it can't keep up!  Damn Body!   Also, it is getting colder and I have never ran in the middle of the winter so we will see how this turns out.

When Life Gives You Limes... Buy some Coronas!!!

So it is my plan to make this blog less of a bitch session that will only depress whoever stumbles upon it and turn it into the blog of awesomeness and insightfulness that ...it was honestly meant to be.  Since my last blog yesterday, my sister's child in the hospital is have a few more issues and I found out that my entire office is going to be moving and I really fear that it will be farther away.  So you know what I am doing... deciding to let by the credo, " Fuck it, I am going to make the most of it"   

So here is day one on the Fuck It Tour!!!  

Ok, Therapeutic Blogging... work your magic!!!

When you hear of those classic lackluster days, Today is pretty high up on the list.   At the beginning of the day, I was optimistic... you could almost call me Jovial.  Now, I feel a mere shadow of my earlier self.   I have been trudging along all day.. barely keeping up with my work.  Now why am I have such a lull?!?

Possible problems that could be spurring my slow drift into depression.  Family issues coming from my sister's stress with having a  13 week premature child and her husband job possibly shifting across the country.  To parent issues, coming from the lack of actually having living parents to come to with my problems and my inability to actually work through my issues I have with them and their deaths.  Possibly friend problems: where I am distancing myself from a certain group because of my lack of energy to deal with issues that I am at part for creating but am choosing to run from because it seems in my mind this is easiest and healthiest path to chose.  And finally personal problems, like my wants to move around the country because I don't like being in Salt Lake.  Or how I am unable to have healthy relationships here.... not thinking I am employed at the level I should be and so on.

Though I also don't believe just bitchin about it with trying to solve your own problems, so that is my plan.  Though I am not sure how I can solve a great deal of those problems.  So help me Gods of the Internet... Help me divine out how to resolve said problems and move forward a better person because of these trials.

May I work through my problems through the written word...

So we have all seen the movies when the protagonist works through whatever issue they are having by using a journal or writing a story that will later show up in the "New Yorker"  Well, neither of those things are really going to happen with this blog but maybe this writing will be cathartic and help me be a little less bat shit crazy when life throws me a curve ball or two.

So here is a little bit about me (or how I see myself anyway)  I am a late twenty something who really is trying to discover himself.  I am undecided where I stand in terms of religion and what I really see himself doing with my life.  I am a hopeless romantic but have really never had success in any relationship.  Now, that is a contradiction if I have ever heard one.  Does this mean that I am not really a romantic at all, because I don't think I really have felt what I think love is.  Now that would be something for me to work through with a therapist :) but sadly, I am too poor for an actual person's help so I am turning to the unlimited power of the internet and social media to help me cope.

Well, now it is official, I have set this blog in motion and will see where this leads me.  Hopefully this does more than just fill my narcissistic need for attention and actually brings forth insight and contemplation (fingers crossed).